Friday, August 13, 2010

Pitch for THE ROOM

This is my pitch for the best video game ever. Based on THE ROOM:

Play through 6 increasingly mundane levels as you struggle to understand life. Set against the scenic green screen of San Francisco can you collect all the spoon power ups to attend Johnny's birthday party before it tears him apart? With four playable characters:

Lisa: With your red dress and rose petals can you keep your affair with Johnny's best friend a secret? Collect all the scotchka bonus glasses or face sitting on an atomic bomb that's waiting to go off.

Denny: Evade Chris-R while you try to collect eggs, flour, milk and butter to make “brownies” for the party. Steal shoes for a speed boost and avoid eating any poisoned apples. Power Word: OH HAI.

Silk Shirt Guy: Who the fuck are you? Will you find out in time to crash the birthday? Or will your lack of character name tear the group of friends apart?

Mark: Can you use your own brand of Sestosterone to keep your friendship with Lisa and Johnny alive? Special weapons include magic box and moving lighter and patented “baby face.”

ENEMIES: Chris-R: He wants. His fucking. MONEY.

Claudette: She has breast cancer. Can you avoid her sage advice long enough to make her do the dishes after Johnny's party?

Michelle: She looks like a normal person? What is she doing in this game? Beware, she'll help you move coffee tables, but she's wicked fast with a pillow.

Can you make it to the shocking ending? Will Johnny's party be a success? Did you use good thinking and invite all his friends? And what will become of them, in THE ROOM.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Convention Season and Dirty Ploy

For the first time ever I went to WonderCon with the intention of purchasing something specifically to sell on eBay. I’ve sold random swag for movies I didn’t care for or buttons for things I’ve never watched before. Because hey, if you love OMGADORABLECHIBIANIME thing then more power to you. Better you have it and cherish it than me throw it away. But somehow buying something at a Con simply to profit makes me feel dirty.

So here’s the gist. WonderCon had these exclusive Green Lantern figures. Hal as a Black Lantern and Sinestro as a White Lantern. Limited to 1500 each exclusive to the con. To get them you had to wait in these long ass lines for a drawing for a CHANCE to buy them. So it was sort of boring and labor intensive to get these figures. In fact I spent a good 2-3 hours of the con in a line. I bought 4 figures for a total of $87. I sold 2 of them on eBay for $100. So I could actually keep the second set and I still made $23. So really it’s a win-win. I got monies, some guy in Canada gets a cool set of figures he wouldn’t otherwise have had.

So why do I feel like a con whore?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Live-Tweet February 21

Tonights live-tweet, at Midnight Pacific time, will be Freddie Vs. Jason. I love Freddie. I love Jason. So you would think these two together would be EPIC. But alas. It was not to be. Incidentally I also love bacon AND I love cookies. But bacon cookies would be vomit worthy. Let's see what kind of bacon cookie this movie is. 

Friday, February 12, 2010

Nightwing just got a whole lot sexier.

So aside from the fact that Dick Greyson's ass is legendary, he's going to be voiced by Neil Patrick Harris in the upcoming animated feature of Under the Hood. Not gonna lie, I'm more excited about this than any (theorized) upcoming Batman 3 movie. For full details see here.

So slightly sad that Mark Hamil won't be reprising his Joker role, but it'll be a fresh look at the Joker I suppose. NOT TO MENTION THIS AMAZING TIE IN STATUE!(so excited it needed capslock)

Additionally, neato little history of Jason Todd (with photos GASP) From my twitter pal: History of Jason Todd .


In total honesty, this is probably my favorite convention. And not just because I live 10 miles away and don't have to buy a hotel room. It's always less crowded than Comic-Con and more comic oriented than Movie oriented. Comic-Con has certainly drifted into the land of big name Movies and Promoters. Which as a shameless hunter of free swag isn't necessarily a bad thing. But there's something about meeting people like Tim Sale, Mike Mignola and Greg Rucka in a much smaller setting that's somehow more intimate. 

I'm just about to buy my tickets which is a decade old ritual. Normally this marks the beginning of Con season, but the hype around comic-con has slightly distorted that since I now have to purchase next years Comic-Con tickets about 2 weeks after returning home from Comic-Con. Ah how life changes.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Population 436

Last nights Live Tweet was rather dull I must admit. The movie wasn't bad in a way to make fun of, it was just slow and dull and uninteresting. While it was desperately trying to be creepy and unsettling it was more just the same slightly creepy stare repeated over and over and over and over. The best thing about it was Fred Durst. Which is a sentence I NEVER thought I would type. 

This has taught me a meaningful lesson. Thrillers do not make good live tweets. Too much build-up for not much pay off equals not a whole lot to tweet about. Next weeks options:

Freddie Versus Jason
Seed (Directed by Uwe Boll)
Hell House

Monday, February 1, 2010


Last nights live tweet of Shrooms seemed to be a big success. (If you didn't follow it you should have: Kil1ertofu) Next week I'll be live tweeting a movie called Population 436. Here's the plot:

A census-taker (Sisto) is sent to investigate why a certain small town has had the same population -- 436 residents -- for the last 100 years.

And where it gets good? Staring Fred Durst. I know. I'm excited too. So this movie promises to be absolutely awful. Which should make for amazing tweeting. Population 436 is available on Netflix instant watch if you care to follow along. Tune in next Sunday at Midnight (Pacific Time). Prepare for awesome.